Adult Children of Divorce Still Need Sympathy

 Posted on October 02, 2017 in Children and Divorce

For parents who are considering divorce, there are practical benefits to waiting until their children are adults before ending their marriage. Without legal dependents, the divorcing couple will not need to establish child support payments or the allocation of parental responsibilities. As adults, the children are thought to be more mature and capable of accepting their parents' divorce. However, people of all ages can struggle with the news that their parents are divorcing. Adult children of divorce may feel emotionally and financially vulnerable. Yet, their feelings may be treated with less care because they are supposed to be more mature and independent.

Emotional Impact

Parents who are getting divorced should not assume that their adult children will accept their decision with calmness and understanding. Part of the difficulty of telling younger children about divorce is explaining the concept and what it means for them. Adult children know what divorce means, but that knowledge may not ease their emotions. Many negative thoughts can plague them, such as:

• Anger over the divorce happening;
• Guilt over not foreseeing or preventing the divorce; and
• Doubt about whether loving relationships can last.

Becoming an adult can be a tumultuous time in someone’s life. Young adults look to their parents’ home and relationship for stability when they feel uncertain.

Practical Impact

Children’s reliance upon their parents does not end when they become legal adults. Young adults often need their parents to:

• Pay for their continuing education and living expenses;
• Provide a place to live before they become self-supporting; and
• Serve as a financial safety net when they are on their own.

Divorce can reduce each parent’s individual financial resources. Though they are not legally obligated to do so in the divorce settlement, parents should discuss whether they will combine their resources to continue to support their adult children.

Nature of Relationships

When children become adults, parents may start thinking of them more like their friends. Parents are more likely to treat their adult children as confidants because parents believe their children are mature enough to handle the honesty. Adults do not need the same protection as when they were children, but parents should still insulate them from the divorce. Children may feel loyalties to both parents during and after a divorce. They do not need to hear all of the details of why their parents divorced or become a messenger for their parents’ arguments.

When to Divorce

You may not be protecting your children by delaying your divorce until they become adults. Adult children can still be upset and in need of financial support. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can help you through the difficult decisions of your divorce. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

Source:

http://www.divorcemag.com/blog/divorcing-with-adult-children