Avoiding Divorce Will Not Save Your Marriage

 Posted on September 22, 2017 in Divorce

Despite its general acceptance in society, some couples view divorce as an unacceptable choice during their marriage. To them, divorce means quitting on their relationship and admitting that their marriage has failed. They believe it shows more strength to try to work through their differences or tolerate the parts of their marriage that make them unhappy. Other couples are bound to their marriages because of a moral conviction that divorce is a sin. However, staying together at all costs does not make a marriage a success. Couples need divorce to be an option during unhappy marriages.

Stable but Unhealthy

During their wedding vows, couples often promise to be faithful to each other for the rest of their lives. Thus, they may believe that staying together is the best indicator of a successful marriage. With such a standard, a marriage is guaranteed to be successful if the spouses refuse to ever consider divorce. However, it is debatable whether a marriage is a success if the relationship is marred by:

• Physical or verbal abuse;
• Lack of intimacy;
• Infidelity;
• Poor lifestyle choices; or
• General misery.

If the quality of a relationship defines a marriage’s success, then refusing to divorce from an unhealthy relationship does nothing to help.

Incentive to Change

If both members of a marriage are unhappy, they may feel equal motivation to try to fix their relationship. Each spouse must be open to changing his or her behavior to solve the conflict. However, some spouses disagree that there is a problem with their marriage. The spouse who believes the marriage is fine may need the threat of divorce as motivation to fix the marriage. Without divorce as a possibility, he or she may not feel that there is any consequence to not changing.

Failure Is an Option

No couple enters marriage with the idea that they will eventually divorce, but they should recognize that it is a possible outcome. It is admirable for spouses to try to solve their marital problems, rather than immediately give up on each other. However, a couple can reach a point where their differences are irreconcilable. In such cases, the couple must understand that divorce is an acceptable solution.

Even without moral objections, some people have more practical reasons why they do not want to divorce. They may be concerned about how the divorce will affect their children or whether they will be able to financially support themselves. The Kane County divorce attorneys at Goostree Law Group understand their clients’ concerns about divorce and can lead them towards reaching a favorable settlement. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-happiness-rx/201408/why-divorce-should-always-be-in-our-vocabulary