When Children of Divorce Grow Up

 Posted on June 17, 2016 in Children and Divorce

When a couple with children divorces, they often wonder about how their divorce will affect their children in the future. Some of these individuals have parents who divorced when they were children and continue to feel the effects of the divorce today. Others worry that divorcing will lead their children down a path of instability and might consider staying together until the children are grown. Current research supports that this is not the healthiest option for most families and that remaining in an unhappy marriage can be worse for parents and children than divorcing.

How an individual is affected by his or her parents' divorce can depend on a lot of factors, such as:

• His or her age when the divorce occurred;
• The reason for the divorce;
• His or her personality; and
• How his or her parents interacted with each other and the individual after the divorce.

Having Divorced Parents Makes an Individual More Likely to Divorce

Studies show the correlation between having divorced parents and the likelihood that the individual will divorce. This correlation is stronger in women than it is in men. This could be because children who witness their parents' divorces develop a pessimistic view of marital relationships, especially if they witnessed high levels of conflict between their parents.

But remember, correlation does not mean causation. Your divorce will not automatically cause your children to get divorced in the future. Have regular conversations that implore your children to think critically about relationships and what makes a good partner without speaking badly about their other parent.

Multiple Holiday Visits, Multiple Scheduling Conflicts

When your children are young, you have a parenting time agreement in place that determines the holiday visit schedule. When your children are grown and start to bring partners of their own into the picture, the holiday visit schedule can get fuzzy. Other issues that can arise include planning milestone events like weddings, baby showers, and birthday celebrations if you and your spouse do not get along.

It can be difficult to keep yourself from stepping into your adult child's life and trying to influence the choices they make, but remember, they are capable of making their own decisions. Further, when it comes to planning events and holiday visits, adult children of divorced parents often feel pressured to please everybody. Be willing to be flexible, just like you were when he or she was growing up.

Work with a Kane County Divorce Attorney

Your actions play a role in how your divorce affects your children as they grow in the years that follow. One of the most important things you can do for your children after your divorce is to work with your former partner to co-parent your children effectively. For more guidance and legal representation in your divorce or family law case, contact our team of experienced Kane County divorce attorneys at the Goostree Law Group to schedule your initial legal consultation with a member of our team.

Source:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8300000&SeqEnd=10000000