Children Take Priority for Divorced Families During Holidays

 Posted on November 17, 2017 in Child Custody

Thanksgiving is next week, along with the official start of the holiday season. For parents and children of divorce, the season can be a time of hectic schedules and mixed emotions. In most cases, each parent will want to have individual time with the children to celebrate. However, it will be difficult for either parent to have the same holiday experience that they did when the family was whole. While this may be depressing, parents should focus on providing a good holiday experience for their children. In order to do so, they must be flexible in both their scheduling and expectations for the holidays.

Holiday Parenting Time

Parents with foresight will consider holidays when creating their parenting schedule during the divorce. There are several ways parents can split their time with their children during the holidays, including:

• Exchanging the children on the holiday;
• Assigning holidays to each parent;
• Alternating which parent has the children each year;
• Creating an alternative date when one parent observes the holiday; or
• In rare cases, celebrating the holiday together with the children.

The holidays are not confined to specific days, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. There may be holiday activities that have become a tradition for one parent and the children. Parents should be flexible with their schedules to allow these traditions to continue.

Positive Attitude

Many people reflect on their personal experiences from the past year during the holidays. Unfortunately, divorced parents may remember feelings of bitterness they have towards each other. While it may be difficult to avoid those feelings, parents should do their best to mask them when around their children. Even without a parent saying a word, a child can pick up on cues that a parent is upset. Children deserve to have a happy holiday without negative emotions.

Not a Competition

Parents often indulge their children with gifts, treats and fun activities during the holidays. For divorced parents, this can be an opportunity to try to one-up each other. Turning the holidays into a competition over who gives the best presents may have negative consequences:

• Children can develop a spoiled and entitled attitude;
• Parents are telling their children that the parent who can buy them better gifts is the one who loves them more; and
• Children may feel pressured to pick a side between the parents.

Surviving the Holidays

Celebrating the holidays after divorce may be difficult, but it is important that you create positive memories for your children. A Kane County family law attorney at Goostree Law Group can help you create a parenting time agreement that allows you to share the holidays with your children. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://www.custodyxchange.com/examples/holidays/