Dealing with Post-Divorce Grief

 Posted on June 20, 2017 in Divorce

Completing your divorce and moving on to the next stage of your life can cause a mix of emotions – some of them good. You may feel relief from marriage being over and excitement about your future. However, divorcees can be caught off guard by unexpected negative emotions. You feel refreshed and optimistic one day and depressed and doubtful the next. You may think, “Divorce is what I wanted, so why do I feel sad?” Even when a divorce frees you from an unhappy marriage, it is natural to mourn the end of your marriage and fear the changes in your life. Understanding these emotions is one of the final steps in healing from your divorce.

Common Emotions

How you react after a divorce may be similar to the commonly known five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Rather than the death of a person, you are experiencing the death of your marriage, which was the most important relationship in your life to this point. However, your post-divorce grief does not always follow an ordered flow chart. People’s divorces differ, so their emotions differ, as well. Common negative feelings after a divorce include:

• Shame and guilt over the divorce;
• A sense of rejection and inadequacy;
• Loneliness and vulnerability because you are single again;
• Dependency on your remaining relationships;
• Alienation from your married friends; and
• Anxiety over your new life.

Helping Yourself

Depression and anger following your divorce can harm your health, including a risk of substance abuse. Entering a new relationship may seem like the best way to heal your pain, but you may not be ready for another relationship if you are still grieving the previous one. You can try to delay your grief, but you cannot skip it. Your focus should be on understanding the causes of your negative emotions and learning to cope with them:

• See a personal therapist to discuss your emotional issues. Explaining how you feel can help you understand your emotions;
• Attend a divorce support group. Talking to other divorcees will show you that your feelings are common and there is a path to healing; and
• Find activities you enjoy doing. Being single again means rediscovering who you are and what makes you happy.

Emotional Divorce

Contentious divorce negotiations can leave you feeling emotionally hurt and stressed about your future. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can help you reach a settlement that will give you security after your divorce. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.

Source:

http://www.womansdivorce.com/emotions-after-divorce.html