Divorce After Adoption

 Posted on January 28, 2013 in Divorce

After marriage, many couples have a desire to have children. Some wait a few years, some with much excitement start a family right away. However, there are couples who are not able to have biological children and go through adoption. Whether domestic or international adoption is the route couples choose, a bundle of joy comes their way after a long time of waiting and forking over a lot of money to cover all sorts of costs. But, what happens when the couple decides to dissolve their marriage? What happens to the child or children, who after already going through a tough process of adoption, now has to go through divorce with the only set of parents they know?

Parents’ behavior models healthy coping skills and surrounds the children with love. By showing their skills on handling anger, sadness and tough times, children will be able to see perseverance and the ability to express feelings in a healthy way. As parents are able to express themselves, they must be able to allow the children to express themselves and receive honest, age-appropriate feedback without any anger. Talking through it all will help the children understand clearly the divorce is not their fault and they have nothing to do with the decision.

Something parents might not initially think of is how they will respond to the child’s need for the other parent still. Children will mourn the fact that the life they knew with a two parent home is now over – and they will need the support of both parents to be able to succeed through this process. Children will need to know spoken and un-spoken that it is okay to love the other parent and even be reinforced to keep the relationship strong.

Children will have a rollercoaster of emotions during and even after the divorce. Parents need to show how to be happy even through this tough time. Divorce cannot make parents feel guilty and stopping their ability to be good parents with boundaries and home expectations. If you are experiencing a divorce with adopted children, contact a Kane County divorce lawyer who will make the process both positive for the adults but a process that ensures children are a main priority as well.