Finding Your Identity After Divorce

 Posted on February 27,2018 in Divorce

Of all the costs associated with getting a divorce, a loss of identity may be one of the toughest. There was some comfort in knowing your role in your home, despite the misery your marriage caused you. Without your identity as a spouse, you may be uncertain as to how you define yourself. If you have children, the obvious answer is that you are a parent. However, that identity will lessen over time when your children become more independent. It is healthier when you have a part of your identity that does not depend on others. Being newly single gives you a chance to better define yourself. Here are four types of identities you may discover:

1. Professional: Whatever skills and experience you have in order to do your work is part of who you are. You should tie this identity to yourself more than a specific job. Employment can vary, but your work skills stay with you.
2. Hobbyist: The activities that you enjoy in your free time are also part of your identity. Your passions can dictate your personality and the type of people you like being around. Finding a group that shares your hobby will help further cement your identity.
3. Provider: Some people find their greatest satisfaction in helping others. Your giving nature may have focused on your spouse during your marriage. Now, you can share your kindness with others, such as local charities and community groups.
4. Single: You can fully embrace the fact that you are single and the positives that come with it. You are free to try new experiences and focus on activities that you enjoy, without worrying about pleasing someone else. You may discover that you enjoy the freedom.

Discovering Yourself

Figuring out your identity after divorce may take some searching because people often forget about their individual identities when they are married. You can start by writing down a list of your interests, skills and defining personality traits. If you are struggling to come up with a list, ask close friends or family members for their opinions. You may need to try different activities and experiences to determine whether they are right for you. Remember that you do not need to go through this experience alone. A therapist or support group can give you guidance and encouragement as you try to define yourself.

Life After Divorce

The adjustment period after divorce can take months or years to get through. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Family Law can advise you on how the divorce process can help you move forward and redefine yourself. Schedule a free consultation by calling 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr--jeanette-raymond/five-ways-manage-identity-crisis-when-getting-divorced