Gray Divorce: When You Have Adult Children

 Posted on June 24,2016 in Children of Divorce

When you are going through a divorce, issues pertaining to your children are often at the top of your list of concerns. Topics like your parenting time agreement, child support, and how the divorce and any future partners will affect your relationships with your children are likely at the forefront of your mind not only while your divorce is pending, but long after it is finalized.

If your children are over the age of 18, though, you do not have to worry about issues like parenting time and child support. If they are beyond the point of needing financial help from you or your former spouse, generally in or beyond their mid-twenties, your children's needs will not come up in your divorce proceeding at all. But although adult children are not financially or physically affected by their parents' divorces, they can be affected emotionally. Consider the following as you proceed through the divorce process.

Your Children Can Understand Why You Are Divorcing

When parents of young children divorce, they are often advised to explain their reasons for divorcing to the children in an age-appropriate ways. This rule stands even when your children are grown. Do not insult your children's intelligence by hiding things from them or giving excuses – although you do not have to share intimate details, be honest about why you are divorcing their other parent.

Your Children Must Make Their Own Decisions

Decisions like whether to live with one parent, where to spend each holiday, and the level of contact to have with each parent is your child's choice. There is no court order stating how he or she is to split the holidays and as your child moves forward in life and potentially moves, marries, and has children of his or her own, all of these issues can complicate his or her relationship with you and with your former partner. Maintaining a healthy sense of boundaries with your adult child is the key to a harmonious relationship with him or her.

Although Your Children Are Grown, Your Former Partner Will Continue to Be in Your Life

You might not have to work out a drop-off point with your former partner, but you will most likely continue to see them at the weddings, birthday celebrations, and graduations in the future. You created a family and although you are no longer together, your family will continuing to evolve in the years beyond your divorce.

Work with an Experienced Kane County Divorce Attorney

If you are considering filing for divorce, schedule a free legal consultation with one of the experienced Kane County divorce attorneys at the Goostree Law Group. We are a team of family and divorce lawyers who can address your concerns and guide you through the next steps in your divorce case. Although divorcing after your children are grown can be less complicated than divorcing when they were minors, your divorce can still have legal concerns that should be addressed by an experienced attorney.

Source:

http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/health/adult-children-need-boundaries-from-parents/