Keeping Kids Out of Divorce

 Posted on February 26, 2013 in Divorce

The most important decision that parents who divorce have is what will happen to the children. It’s no secret that divorce affects kids, but to what extent hasn’t been—and likely won’t be—agreed upon. An ABC News report cites the two different perspectives of how much divorce affects children. One is that children are affected negatively socially and intellectually, and suffer long-reaching consequences because of their broken family. This is the conventional wisdom: that “children who may appear normal… have difficulty creating and maintaining intimate relationships.” Yet some psychologists believe that staying together in a troubled marriage can actually bring more harm to the children than good. According to Live Science, “children of parents who fight a lot yet stay married experienced more conflict in their own adult relationships than children of parents who fight and do get a divorce.” If you and your spouse argue more than you get along, this means divorce could actually be better for the children if you get a divorce. Yet keeping the kids uninvolved in the split is crucial either way. “Putting our children first during a divorce means putting aside our own anger, hurt, betrayal and sadness, particularly when directed at our ex-spouse,” states the Huffington Post, “and putting the emotional needs of our children ahead of our own.” A divorce won’t change the fact that your partner is still your child’s parent, and to sow the seeds of distrust or anger directed at the parent from an uninvolved child isn’t fair to either the parent or the kid. Not involving your kid in your divorce means refraining from talking badly about your ex-spouse to your child, not begrudging your child the time he or she spends with your ex, and definitely not telling your child the specific reasons for divorce if they would lead to a negative impression (at least until the child is older.) Figuring out what to do with the kids is only one of the many complicated steps of a divorce. Don’t go through it alone. Contact a dedicated Chicago-area family law attorney today. Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net