Perils of Dating Too Soon After Divorce

 Posted on January 11, 2018 in Divorce

Dating after divorce would be simpler if there was a set amount of time after which you knew you were ready to start a new relationship. Emotionally moving on from your marriage is a process, not a time period. Divorcees create arbitrary waiting periods because they know they should not immediately jump into a new relationship. However, you cannot predict how long your emotional recovery will take. Entering into a relationship too soon after a divorce can lead to impulsive decisions and unfortunate consequences.

Still Recovering

Divorcees may feel the desire to start dating again before they are emotionally ready for a new relationship. Dating fills a void left by the divorce and distracts you from addressing your underlying emotions. During a new relationship, you can tell that you have not moved past your divorce if:

• You measure your new partner against your former spouse;
• You constantly talk about your previous marriage with your new partner;
• You recreate your married life, with your new partner replacing your spouse; or
• You still feel depressed and angry despite your new relationship.

Problems

A rebound relationship soon after a divorce rarely ends well for either side. You are entering the relationship looking for immediate relief and gratification, while your partner may want a more serious relationship. Being driven by desire more than common sense, you may make impulsive decisions, such as:

• Spending money on lavish gifts for your new partner;
• Neglecting your responsibilities to your children;
• Participating in risky activities;
• Entering into an ill-advised new marriage; and
• Having a child with a partner you do not plan to stay with.

Impulsive behavior can put stress on your post-divorce finances. Showing poor judgment may affect your allocation of parental responsibilities.

When You Are Ready

Recovering from divorce is comparable to the stages of grief. You must deal with feelings of regret, depression and anger before you can reach acceptance. You must:

• Move beyond lingering anger you feel towards your former spouse;
• Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made during your marriage; and
• Resolve to learn from your divorce and focus on your new life.

Seeing a therapist or attending a support group can teach you how to cope with your divorce and understand when you are ready for a new relationship.

Legal Guidance

Dating too soon after a divorce may cause unintended consequences to the divorce settlement you worked so hard to negotiate. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can advise you on what behavior may reflect poorly on you in a family court. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/divorce-advice-heres-what-happens-when-you-move-on-too-fast/