Reasons Couples Stay Together After Infidelity

 Posted on July 23, 2017 in Divorce

Illinois is a no-fault divorce state, meaning the only reason spouses can give for divorce is irreconcilable differences. Even if it is not the legal reason, fault-based actions still cause couples to seek divorce. Infidelity is just as damaging to a marriage as it was when Illinois accepted it as grounds for divorce. There are obvious reasons why couples divorce after infidelity. It is a betrayal of a relationship that elicits an emotional response. Infidelity may be the cause of irreconcilable differences between spouses. The cheating spouse may be dissatisfied with the marriage, and the victim spouse may feel unwilling to continue the marriage. While infidelity is often fatal to a marriage, some couples do not divorce. There are reasons couples stay together after infidelity, but some have more merit than others.

Remorse and Forgiveness

When faced with a crisis of betrayal, some couples choose to fight for their marriage instead of letting it die. If a couple wants to fix their marriage, they both must put aside their pride:

• The cheating spouse must admit to the damage he or she has caused and show remorse;
• The victim spouse must be able to forgive the cheating spouse for his or her actions; and
• Both spouses must communicate about what is needed to rebuild trust.

The process can be painful, but it is the only way to recreate some semblance of a healthy marriage. Divorce may be necessary if the cheating spouse does not feel guilty or the victim spouse cannot forgive the infidelity.

Maintaining the Family

When a marriage has disintegrated, a couple’s children may be the only thing that connects them. Parents stay together for the sake of their children out of a sense of self-sacrifice. They tell themselves that they can always divorce after their children have become adults. Children are best off growing up in a two-parent household, but not when the parents have an unhealthy relationship. Open fighting or quiet resentment between parents can emotionally damage a child.

Stigma of Divorce

Some religions prohibit or discourage their followers from divorcing, even in cases of infidelity. The act of infidelity is a sin, but divorcing is seen as compounding that sin. Getting a divorce may mean being shunned from the religious community. Each couple must decide whether their religious beliefs are enough reason to stay in an unhealthy marriage.

When to Divorce

Infidelity can often lead to the end of your marriage, but you should carefully consider the consequences before deciding to divorce. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can advise you on what to expect from the divorce process. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/why-bad-looks-good/201706/why-some-couples-can-stay-together-even-after-infidelity