Redefining Winning in a Divorce

 Posted on July 23, 2018 in Divorce

The divorce process is designed so that neither side will have a complete victory over the other. You will not keep every property that you owned during your marriage. If you are making more money than your spouse, you may be required to pay spousal maintenance as compensation. Unless there are unusual circumstances, you will be dividing your parenting time with your children. If you measure winning in absolute terms, then there are no winners in a divorce. However, redefining winning can help you feel that your divorce was successful:

1. Winning with Realistic Goals: You should start your divorce negotiations with goals that you want to achieve. Identify marital properties that are priorities for you to retain. Understand what an acceptable allocation of parental responsibilities would be. Determine the value of the financial assets you will need for short-term financial stability and long-term prosperity. You will lose some marital properties to your spouse. Instead of losses, think of them as assets you are trading in order to retain other assets you value more.
2. Winning with an Amicable Divorce: Spouses in a high-conflict divorce can feel defeated after the process is over. Negotiations often end in litigation, which is both time-consuming and expensive. You are more likely to be satisfied if you reach an amicable divorce agreement that does not require court intervention. Through compromise, you feel more in control of your agreement and less bitter about the outcome. The process will also be quicker and less costly.
3. Winning for Your Children: Children are unlikely to feel that they are winning anything after their parents have divorced. The outcome will always be a divided family and disruption to their lives. When negotiating your divorce, you can decide that your children should benefit more from your agreement than anyone else. They should have enough time with each of you to maintain a healthy relationship. The parenting schedule should minimize disruptions to the children’s lives. You should meet all of your children’s financial needs through child support.
4. Winning a New Life: Remember that the reason you are getting a divorce is so you can get out of an unhappy marriage and find fulfillment elsewhere. Short-term sacrifices are part of the price of achieving long-term happiness. Your divorce was successful if you were able to get a fresh start with enough resources to support yourself.

Your Victory

Your expectations during your divorce will determine whether you feel you have won or lost after it is over. A Kane County divorce attorney at Goostree Law Group can help you define what is a successful divorce for you. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-584-4800.

Source:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/heatherlocus/2018/07/22/there-is-no-crying-in-baseball-and-there-is-no-winning-in-divorce/#8a4c25c53b20