It Does Not Have to End in Divorce: Strategies to Save Your Marriage

 Posted on June 02, 2016 in Divorce

If you and your spouse find yourselves constantly fighting, unable to agree about how you spend your money or how you run your household, or either of you has considered committing infidelity or even gone through with an affair, you might think your marriage is over. Sometimes, it is. But other times, a marriage can emerge stronger than it was before if both partners are willing to work together to fix what went wrong. It is important to consider certain strategies you can use to repair your marriage. Remember, fixing your marriage will require significant input from both partners and sometimes, divorce is inevitable even when a couple works hard to avoid it. If your marriage falls into this category, do not think of the divorce as a personal failure. Sometimes, a couple simply is not compatible.

Seek Professional Counseling

One of the best ways to get a handle on the actual issues at play in your marriage and advice about how to overcome them is to schedule a few sessions with a licensed marriage counselor. Marriage counseling is a type of therapy where a couple works with a professional counselor to identify and work through the problems that are plaguing their marriage, much like an individual with other mental health issues works with a psychological counselor to work through his or her own personal problems. Couples can have sessions with a marriage counselor together or individuals can meet with the counselor alone.

Focus on Yourself

During your marriage counseling sessions, you might learn that you need to focus on improving the problems you are causing in the marriage, rather than blaming everything on your partner. It is very rare that a marriage's problems can be blamed entirely on one partner. You cannot change your partner, but you can change yourself by choosing to be a more open or direct communicator, finding healthier ways to express your anger, seeking help for your addiction, or finding a way to make decisions more cooperatively with your partner.

Keep Your Children Out of It

Your children are not dumb – they know things are not right with you and your partner. This does not mean it is appropriate to tell them everything that is going wrong in your marriage. Give them age-appropriate explanations for why you are attending counseling sessions or considering a separation period, but do not speak badly of your partner or blame him or her for the problems your children are witnessing.

Work with a Kane County Divorce Attorney

If you have tried the strategies listed above and you are sure that your marriage is headed for divorce, educate yourself about the divorce process by speaking with an experienced Kane County divorce attorney. A member of our team of experienced Kane County divorce attorneys can help you by providing you with answers to your questions and insight to the legal aspects of the divorce process. Contact us today to schedule your initial legal consultation with a member of The Goostree Law Group.

Sources:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/marriage-counseling/basics/definition/prc-20012741

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201303/marriage-problems-heres-8-step-rescue-plan