Unhappily Married…With Children?

 Posted on March 13, 2014 in Divorce

The 1990s sitcom “Married With Children” popularly spoofed how some parents act once they have dropped their dreams and started raising children. The caricatures in the Bundy cast resonated and the show lasted over 10 years, longer than many modern marriages.

Raising children is one of the most rewarding yet demanding parts of many marriages. The stresses of parenthood are often at the root of conflicts between spouses. At times, primary caretakers may feel robbed of their opportunity for a career or of the opportunity for at least one happy hour with friends again. Alternatively, a primary breadwinner may feel nagged or burdened by an unfulfilling job under the pressure to provide more and more security for a growing family. Both parents may feel guilty spending any time or money on something that does not involve the kids or other spouse. When these problems grow to seemingly unmanageable proportions, you may start to want out. At the same time, dissolving a marriage is proportionately harder when you have children. You do not want to hurt your kids, and you may dread the thought of splitting custody. Regardless of your specific situation, keep in mind that the underlying principle of all legal matters related to these issues is “the best interest of the child.”

 Who Gets To Decide What Is In The Best Interest Of My Child?

 The law in Illinois, in determining child custody after a split, involves a standard regarding the best interest of the child. But who gets to decide? Naturally you may not want the state telling you how to raise your own kids. Fortunately though, you and your spouse will have the first opportunity to come up with a plan.

Because parents have a history of not agreeing entirely during a divorce, a set of standards has been created to guide everyone towards making the best decisions for the child’s well being. At the top of this list are each parent’s wishes for what the child’s new living arrangement will be. Other factors a court will consider in determining the best interest of the child for custody purposes are: the child's relationship with his parents; the child's adjustment to the home, school, and community; any history of violence; the mental and physical health of everyone involved; the parents’ willingness to encourage a relationship with the other parent; and, what outsiders say about the parent/child relationships. There may be additional factors that apply to your situation, and it is important that you do any additional research, as well as speak to a professional.

 Contact a Family Law Attorney

Obviously, there is a lot to consider when working through a divorce where kids are involved. Having a professional guide you through the process may be more helpful than you think. While coming up with an enforceable custody and support agreement, jurisdictional issues may arise, and methods of resolution (mediation vs. litigation) must be considered. Even after the divorce is final, modifications of support and custody may be made, and anticipating those changes can help parties plan for their future. Consult with an attorney today and put your worries at ease. Experienced family law practitioners stand by at Goostree Law Group to make an appointment and to get your questions answered.