What Behaviors Are Normal for a Child After Divorce?

 Posted on July 25, 2024 in Children and Divorce

Going through a divorce and adjusting to life afterward is usually challenging for both spouses. While you may seek support for yourself, it is important to remember that the divorce process can have even more difficult effects on your minor children. A child’s emotional confusion and turmoil is often expressed through changes in behavior.

Understanding the underlying causes of these behavioral issues can help you address them more effectively. Co-parents need to be consistent to increase their chances of successfully dealing with and eliminating their child’s unhealthy behaviors. The right Kane County, IL child custody lawyer can help you draft a comprehensive parenting plan that establishes parental responsibilities and clear communication methods for parents to discuss issues involving your child.

Why Do Children’s Behaviors Sometimes Change During Divorce?

Children have specific needs, and divorce often disrupts their lives. Some of these needs change as children grow, so a child’s age is an important factor in behavioral changes. Many children are unable to process the confusion, stress, and emotional turmoil that often accompanies divorce. When internal processing is not possible, children may express their feelings through changes in behavior, such as:

• Anger and aggression

• Depression, anxiety, and mood swings

• Sleeping and eating differences

• Risky behaviors, including drug use and sexual activity

• Withdrawing from friends, family, and social activities

• Academic performance decline

• Regression

Every child is different and may have unique behavioral changes. While some of these changes are obvious, others are subtle and may go unnoticed if parents do not pay close attention.  

How Can Parents Help?

You are divorcing, so it is understandable that you probably do not like communicating with your ex. However, cooperative co-parenting can help you provide your children with stability. If you notice behavioral changes in your child, ask your ex if they have observed similar issues, using the communication methods outlined in your parenting plan.

When children of divorce spend time with both parents, it is common for a child’s behavior to be different in each household if rules and expectations are not consistent. This lack of stability can lead to even more problems. Over time, temporary behavioral changes can become ingrained traits if parents do not address them promptly and effectively. You can help your children by:

• Having age-appropriate conversations about your divorce and the resulting life changes

• Reassuring your child that the divorce is not their fault

• Providing stability by being consistent

• Involving your child in decisions when possible and appropriate

• Allowing your child to freely communicate with the other parent

• Not speaking negatively about your ex to your child

• Shielding your child from arguments and disagreements with your ex

In some cases, you may want to consider professional counseling for your child. Be sure to honor the decision-making rights set out in your parental responsibilities agreement.

Contact a St. Charles, IL Parental Responsibilities Lawyer for Assistance

With the help of a skilled divorce lawyer, you can protect the best interests of your children with a thorough parenting plan that addresses when and how to communicate about issues involving them. A Certified Divorce Coach can also be beneficial. When you choose Goostree Law Group, you have access to both. Contact us online or call us at 630-584-4800 to schedule a free consultation with an experienced Kane County, IL family law attorney today.