Why Do Couples Divorce after Decades of Marriage?

 Posted on July 19, 2016 in Divorce

A few of the most common reasons why couples divorce are conflicts about money, infidelity, and conflicting views about how to raise their children. These kinds of issues generally arise within the first decade or so of a marriage. But when a marriage can weather these difficulties and last 20, 30, or even more years, it can be difficult to imagine it ending in divorce. But statistics show that is is becoming increasingly common for older couples, those who have been married for short periods of time as well as those who have been married for decades, to seek divorces. This trend is known as “gray divorce.”

Since 1990, the divorce rate for individuals over 50 has doubled. Certain issues are unique to older couples that drive them toward divorce. These, coupled with the social attitudes and expectations of individuals in their 50s and 60s today versus the attitudes and expectations held by previous generations, are driving the trend of gray divorce in the United States.

Dissatisfaction and the Ability to Fix It

This is one of the main factors driving the gray divorce trend. In previous generations, older couples who were dissatisfied in their marriages generally stayed together, often because of the social stigma attached to divorce and for women in particular, the financial security that came with a marriage. Today, most women earn enough money to live independently and do not need to stay in unhappy marriages for financial security.

Another societal change behind older Americans' changing attitudes about divorce is that we are living longer. At 65, an individual could have another 20 to 30 years to live and with this perspective, might not want to spend those decades in an unsatisfying marriage.

Couples Grow Apart

The dissatisfaction that causes couples to divorce can build slowly over their years together or arise fairly quickly, triggered by a major life change like retirement or the couple's youngest child moving out. Without distractions like careers and childcare, couples can find themselves solely facing each other and in some cases, this can be the point at which couples realize they simply are not compatible. Incompatibility can be due to boredom with each other, resentment about past wrongs, or differing goals for the future.

Hormones can play a factor in a couple's compatibility as well. As we age, our hormone levels change and many individuals find themselves experiencing a new sex drive or a changed perspective. These drastic changes can drive long-term couples apart.

Work with an Experienced Kane County Divorce Lawyer

No matter how old you are, divorce is an option if you are not satisfied with your marriage. Divorce is a major life change and can have significant repercussions, so do not treat to subject lightly. Instead, educate yourself about the divorce process and all that it entails by discussing your circumstances with an experienced Kane County divorce lawyer. Contact our team at The Goostree Law Group today to set up your initial legal consultation with us.

Sources:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/she-the-people/wp/2014/10/08/till-death-do-us-part-no-way-gray-divorce-on-the-rise/

http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/menopause.aspx