Women Tend To Stay in Bad Marriages

 Posted on October 15, 2013 in Divorce

We all know someone who’s stayed in a relationship far past the point when the relationship stopped being healthy. Why people choose to do this is varied, but it seems that women are more likely to stay in unhappy marriages than men, at least according to Allison Pescosolido, co-founder of “Divorce Detox,” writing for the Huffington Post. “It may sound obvious to jump ship when a marriage goes south,” she says, “but there are a multitude of reasons why women who are perfectly capable of making sound decisions stay.” The least of these, of course, is that they don’t want to hurt their family. Women, according to Pescosolido, are more conditioned than men to put others first.

Another reason that women tend to stay in bad marriages is that their biological clock is ticking, writes Pescosolido. “Whether a woman wants to have a child or wants more children, the idea of starting over close to child-bearing age invokes feelings of desperation.” There’s also the issue of a lack of self-esteem, which, of course, is only further eroded by a bad relationship—which becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. Some women lack the financial independence to leave a bad marriage if she has not been the primary breadwinner in the relationship. This can be an especially significant factor if the divorcing couple is older. According to Forbes, “older women who have been in long-term marriages must confront unique financial issues when they’re facing divorce.” These include protecting their business, their retirement funds, their insurance, and their retirement account beneficiaries, according to Forbes.

But despite women’s apparent greater reluctance to end a bad marriage, a bad marriage is worse for women than men, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). “In poor marriages, that continual heightened stress produces physiological responses in women that can lead to poorer health [than for men], reports the APA. If you or someone you know is staying in a bad marriage but considering divorce, the most important first step is to contact an experienced divorce attorney. Don’t go through it alone. Contact our offices today.