Posted on July 06, 2020 in Children and Divorce

When you break the news of your divorce to your children, you should be prepared for them to ask several questions. You need to be considerate of their feelings when answering these questions because a poorly worded answer could make them more upset. Keep in mind that:

• Your children are most concerned about how your divorce affects them.
• They need your reassurance without you making promises that you cannot keep.
• There are some details about your divorce that your children should not know.

You can reasonably expect that your children will ask you some variation of the following questions:

1. Why Are You Getting Divorced?: When answering this question, it is important to convey that your children did not cause the divorce and that you will both continue being their parents. Say that it was a difficult decision but what you feel you need to do. Your children do not need to hear about the reasons you are unhappy in your marriage or events that led to your divorce.

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 Posted on July 03, 2020 in Divorce

Amid everything you are trying to accomplish during your divorce, it is important to remain mindful of your health. It is not uncommon for people to suffer from chronic pain or sickness following a divorce. They are under a tremendous amount of stress, which is harmful to themselves and can lead to unhealthy habits. This can cause:

• Bouts of anxiety and depression
• Cardiovascular disease
• Drastic changes in your weight
• Substance abuse

Everyone reacts to divorce differently, including the way it affects their health. However, anyone can help themselves during their divorce with these wellness tips:

1. Make an Effort to Stay Active: Physical wellness and mental wellness have proven to be connected to each other. Physical activity can relieve stress and give you something positive to focus on. Many people choose a fitness routine for their physical activity, but even spending time on a hobby can be a welcome break from the thoughts that have caused you stress.

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 Posted on June 30, 2020 in Alimony / Maintenance

What happens to spousal maintenance after you retire? If you are the person paying maintenance, it would be wrong for you to assume that your maintenance payments will end when you retire. You can terminate maintenance payments only when:

• You reach the agreed termination date
• A significant decrease in your income or increase in the recipient’s income makes it appropriate to end payments
• The recipient remarries
• The recipient fails to make an effort to become self-supporting

Retirement may give you grounds to decrease your maintenance payments, but terminating payments is unlikely. There are several factors that determine whether and how much you can modify spousal maintenance when you retire.

How Long Is the Spousal Maintenance Supposed to Last?

The duration of your spousal maintenance payments can be a set number of years or indefinite, pending future review or requests for modification. Two circumstances are needed for a court to grant indefinite maintenance:

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 Posted on June 26, 2020 in Paternity

Illinois does not have an automatic presumption of paternity when a child is born out of wedlock. Normally, the husband of the mother is presumed to be the father unless it is proven than someone else is the father. An unmarried father can still claim his legal parental status by signing a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity form after the child’s birth. When there is a disagreement about who the father is, the mother or potential father may need to go to court to prove paternity. A paternity test is usually the definitive way to determine whether a child is related to the father. Why is it important to identify the father of a child? There are good reasons for each party involved.

The Father

A father may want to be part of his child’s life, even if he is not in a relationship with the mother. The best way he can ensure that it will happen is by establishing paternity. As the legal father to the child, he would have a right to parenting time, as long as the child would not be in danger with him. The father could also claim responsibility for the child on a full-time basis if the mother dies, is deemed unfit, or wants to give the child up for adoption.

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 Posted on June 23, 2020 in Divorce

Stay-at-home parents make personal sacrifices in order to focus on raising their children and allowing their spouse to fully pursue their career. The parent at home may have paused or given up their career, as well as their financial independence. If you are a stay-at-home parent who is unhappy in your marriage, you may have several questions about how you could afford to divorce and how it would affect you. Being a stay-at-home parent presents some obstacles during divorce, but they are all manageable if you work with an experienced divorce attorney.

Paying for Divorce

Your first question might be “How can I afford a divorce attorney when I do not have my own income?” It is important that you have an attorney who is independent of your spouse. Some stay-at-home parents have their own savings that they can draw upon. If you do not have enough money, you can petition the court to order your spouse to help pay your attorney fees. You would need to prove that you are at a financial disadvantage and that your spouse can afford your attorney fees.

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 Posted on June 19, 2020 in High Asset Divorce

It is vital to conduct an accurate valuation of your business during your divorce. The value that you and your spouse agree on will determine how much it will cost you in other marital assets to have sole possession of your business following a divorce. If you overvalue your business, you may give up too many assets to keep your business intact. While undervaluing your business could be advantageous, you risk the divorce court rejecting your agreement if it objects to your valuation methods. There are several ways that someone can make a mistake in the business valuation process that will skew the value of the business:

1. Using the Wrong Valuation Method: There are generally three methods of valuing a business: income-based, asset-based, and market value. The accuracy of each method may depend on the type of business you are valuing. For instance, the market value approach is not considered to be an accurate way to value a privately held company if you are comparing it to publicly traded companies.

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 Posted on June 16, 2020 in Children and Divorce

It is hard to predict how a child will react to divorce, but parents should prepare for a difficult transition period. Your child’s reaction will partially depend on the environment you create for them. A supportive and caring environment should help your child, while exposure to divorce conflict could cause further trauma. Your child’s personality is another important factor in their reaction. Some children are more prone to depression and anxiety than others. Child therapy is an option you have if your child is struggling to adjust to the divorce, but how do you know whether therapy is right for your child?

Signs That Therapy May Help

Just because your child has an emotional outburst does not mean you should immediately book an appointment with a child therapist. Being upset is a natural reaction for children during divorce, and some children can process their emotions on their own if given time and care from their parents. If your child’s negative behavior persists or grows worse, then it may be time to seek outside help. For instance, your child may:

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 Posted on June 12, 2020 in Divorce

The U.S. has increasingly recognized the rights of couples who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer (LGBTQ) in the past decade. The national legalization of same-sex marriage was a landmark decision for the LGBTQ community. The normalization of LGBTQ divorce naturally came with the broad legalization of LGBTQ marriage. On a basic level, divorce for LGBTQ spouses is functionally the same as for other spouses. Most divorce laws are gender-neutral, meaning gender identities should not affect how properties are divided or parental rights are allocated. However, LGBTQ spouses may have a different divorce experience than heterosexual spouses:

1. The Length of Their Marriage May Not Reflect the Length of Their Relationship: The duration of your marriage matters during a divorce. How long you were married determines how long you can receive spousal maintenance. Spouses in a long-term marriage will have more properties that qualify as marital assets. Same-sex marriage has been legal in Illinois for only six years, and Illinois law does not grant shared property rights to couples who cohabit without marriage. LGBTQ couples may have been effectively married for decades, but only a fraction of those years officially count as marriage. Couples who entered a civil union before marriage may be able to count more years towards their marriage.

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 Posted on June 06, 2020 in Order of Protection

Getting a divorce can cause uncomfortable interactions between you and your spouse. That behavior sometimes escalates to the point of harassment from your spouse. Fortunately, you can file for an order of protection against your spouse if they are continually harassing you. How do you know when your spouse’s behavior qualifies as harassment? You should explain your spouse’s behavior in detail to your divorce attorney, who can advise you on whether a court order could stop that behavior and what you need to do in order to receive that order.

Harassment in Divorce

Illinois defines harassment as conduct that knowingly and unnecessarily causes a reasonable person to feel distressed. Harassment in a divorce is usually verbal abuse made in person or via electronic communication. Common examples include:

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 Posted on June 02, 2020 in Divorce Over 50

Most couples view marriage as a contract to share their lives and care for each other when they are in need. After all, the common wedding vows include “in sickness and in health.” However, caring for a sick spouse is trying on your marriage if your spouse has a condition that is unlikely to improve. Especially for couples who have reached old age, there may be a point at which one spouse is physically or mentally incapable of functioning on their own. The caregiver spouse may feel conflicted between their commitment to their marriage and their feelings of unhappiness. Sometimes, the unhappiness wins and the couple divorces. Though this may seem disloyal to those who are outside of the marriage, there are several reasons why becoming a caretaker to your spouse can lead to divorce:

1. Your Relationship Has Changed: Spouses often think of each other as lovers, friends, and/or partners – all of which ideally means they are equals. When you are a long-term caretaker for your spouse, your relationship loses its equality. It may feel like you are a servant to your spouse without them reciprocating. Outside of your caretaking responsibilities, you may be performing all of the other tasks that you once shared. An unbalanced workload puts stress on you, and it is understandable to feel some resentment towards your spouse.

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