Posted on August 12, 2020 in Divorce

We all know how challenging interpersonal relationships can be. Unfortunately, difficult situations like divorce and child-related legal proceedings can bring out the worst in people, making such relationships even more trying. Thanks to modern technology, individuals are more readily accessible to one another and connected like never before. Thus, it is easier than ever for your soon-to-be ex-spouse to lash out and send an angry text or email, tempting you to respond in a similar manner. Doing so, however, can be detrimental to your case, so it is important to keep your focus on moving forward.

Responding Is Not Always Necessary

When you receive hostile communication from your former partner or your child’s other parent, keep in mind that the email or text has no power over you unless you allow it to have this power. Angry messages may be an attempt by the sender to vent or relieve his or her own frustration, or they may be intended to rile up your emotions. Before deciding how to respond, step back and determine if a response is even required or appropriate.

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 Posted on August 11, 2020 in Child Custody

While parenting after a divorce or a breakup of unmarried parents will nearly always be challenging, your child will benefit from determined cooperation between you and your former partner. Parents have long been permitted to develop their own agreements regarding child custody—as long as they promoted the best interests of the child—however, the law in Illinois was recently amended regarding child custody and parenting concerns. Today, divorced or unmarried parents are not only allowed to create a parenting plan, but they are fully expected by the court to do so. One element that must be considered in drafting a parenting plan is each parent’s right of first refusal and whether such rights are appropriate for a particular situation.

Extra Parenting Time

At some point, all parents will need someone to watch their children. This, as you might expect, may be frustrating at times for a parent whose time with his or her child is already limited due to a divorce. On the other hand, a parent in that situation may also be looking for additional ways to participate in the child’s life. Including the right of first refusal in your parenting plan could directly address both concerns.

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 Posted on August 07, 2020 in Divorce

If you have spent any time on social media over the last few months, you have undoubtedly seen your friends and loved ones expressing their displeasure over the challenges that 2020 has presented. Among the most stressful of these challenges are those that are linked to the outbreak of the novel coronavirus. As the COVID-19 pandemic made its way across the country, entire cities and states shut down large portions of their infrastructure starting in March. Now that we are in August, things are slowly beginning to open up again—albeit amidst fears of a second wave of coronavirus infections.

Over the last few months, many couples and families have spent a great deal of time in close quarters with one another. For some families, the time together has proven to be a blessing. For others, it has felt like a curse. If you are among the latter group—or if a divorce was already a possibility for you before the COVID-19 lockdown—you may be wondering if you can still file for divorce during these unpredictable times. Presuming you intend to file your divorce petition in Kane County, there are ways for you to get a divorce even as the COVID-19 crisis continues.

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 Posted on July 23, 2020 in Divorce

It is no secret that marriage is the most difficult and rewarding relationship that one can commit to. All couples have their good and bad days – on some days, you could never imagine being with anyone else, and on others, the fighting seems to never stop. The highs and lows of marriage are unavoidable and many relationship professionals say that the “lows” of the relationship can often bring the couple closer together when all is said and done.

Unfortunately, not all marriages are meant to make it to the lifelong-finish line. The fighting can become too common, you may struggle to communicate, or you may evolve into different people over the years and grow apart. Before making the definitive decision to file for divorce, it is often suggested that couples seek out professional help to try and iron out their issues, if at all possible. Relationship specialists have identified the following common points of contention that they hear from many couples behind closed doors:

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 Posted on July 20, 2020 in Children and Divorce

Moving to a new town or state can be hard for children under any circumstances, as they try to adjust to a new school, new friends, and a new routine. It can be even more difficult after a divorce, since children may be moving a significant distance away from one of their parents. If you are a single parent and your career or personal circumstances require relocation, you should be aware of the potential impact the move will have on your kids and do all that you can to make the situation easier for them.

Advice for Helping Your Children Cope

Relocations are usually easier for children if both parents make an effort to help them cope with the situation and maintain consistency as much as possible. Here are some things you can do:

1. Modify Your Parenting Plan: In many cases, the parenting plan established during your divorce does not account for a relocation. If you are the custodial parent and you decide that relocation is necessary, you are required by Illinois law to notify the children’s other parent. If they agree to allow your relocation, you should work together to legally modify the parenting plan including any changes to parenting time and responsibilities. If they disagree, a court will have to rule on the relocation and updated parenting plan based on whether it is in the children’s best interests. In either case, having a clear parenting plan in writing that addresses the relocation can make it easier to uphold your children’s routine.

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 Posted on July 17, 2020 in Child Custody

Almost all divorces are challenging, especially when children are involved, but some are more difficult than others. You may find yourself going through a high conflict divorce because of a partner’s cheating or infidelity or because you and your spouse simply struggle to communicate and cooperate. If the two of you have children together, it is important that you find a way to successfully co-parent regardless of how hard it is for you to get along.

Overcoming Your Differences to Co-Parent

It may not be easy, but keeping these suggestions in mind can help you reduce stress and conflict in your co-parenting process and be the best possible parent for your children.

• Prioritize your children. Remember that your divorce is affecting your children every bit as much as it is affecting you and your ex. Make sure you continue to be present for your children and devote the time to listen to them and care for their physical and emotional needs, rather than allowing conflict with your ex to take over your time and your mental capacity.

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 Posted on July 12, 2020 in Divorce

Courthouses in Illinois are still hearing cases despite the public health crisis caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. However, the way that courts operate has changed for the safety of everyone involved. Mask and social-distancing requirements are in place, and there are limits on the number of people allowed to attend a hearing. Courts are also using video conferencing in order to conduct remote hearings. For instance, Kane County family courts have a mixed schedule of in-person and remote hearings. Even before attending a hearing, many divorce clients are meeting with their attorneys and holding negotiations through applications such as Zoom. After the pandemic restrictions are lifted, some divorce cases may still use video conferencing because people have become more comfortable with the technology.

How Do I Attend a Remote Hearing?

The preparation leading up to a remote divorce hearing is the same as with any other hearing. The way you attend and participate in the hearing is different, and there are some factors involved that you would not normally need to consider during a hearing:

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 Posted on July 09, 2020 in Property Division

The marital home is often one of the most prized possessions during a divorce. Being able to keep the home can be a huge win if both spouses want it. However, getting the home also has consequences that may make it less desirable to own. Some divorcees willingly give up their homes or agree to sell them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of getting the marital home in your divorce? Knowing this may determine your strategy for the division of property and other financial issues in your divorce.

The Advantages

Firstly, it is beneficial to have control over a marital property as valuable as a home. You may have already invested time and money into picking out your “dream home” and remodeling it the way you like. You do not know how much it would cost to purchase a similar home and whether you would like it as much as your current home. If your current home is not in your long-term plans, there is still the possibility that it could appreciate in value and earn you more in an eventual sale than you would receive in the divorce.

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 Posted on July 06, 2020 in Children and Divorce

When you break the news of your divorce to your children, you should be prepared for them to ask several questions. You need to be considerate of their feelings when answering these questions because a poorly worded answer could make them more upset. Keep in mind that:

• Your children are most concerned about how your divorce affects them.
• They need your reassurance without you making promises that you cannot keep.
• There are some details about your divorce that your children should not know.

You can reasonably expect that your children will ask you some variation of the following questions:

1. Why Are You Getting Divorced?: When answering this question, it is important to convey that your children did not cause the divorce and that you will both continue being their parents. Say that it was a difficult decision but what you feel you need to do. Your children do not need to hear about the reasons you are unhappy in your marriage or events that led to your divorce.

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 Posted on July 03, 2020 in Divorce

Amid everything you are trying to accomplish during your divorce, it is important to remain mindful of your health. It is not uncommon for people to suffer from chronic pain or sickness following a divorce. They are under a tremendous amount of stress, which is harmful to themselves and can lead to unhealthy habits. This can cause:

• Bouts of anxiety and depression
• Cardiovascular disease
• Drastic changes in your weight
• Substance abuse

Everyone reacts to divorce differently, including the way it affects their health. However, anyone can help themselves during their divorce with these wellness tips:

1. Make an Effort to Stay Active: Physical wellness and mental wellness have proven to be connected to each other. Physical activity can relieve stress and give you something positive to focus on. Many people choose a fitness routine for their physical activity, but even spending time on a hobby can be a welcome break from the thoughts that have caused you stress.

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