Posted on June 13, 2017 in Divorce

The death of a child is a nightmare scenario for parents. The grief and shock can be more intense than what results from the death of anyone else. Because the emotional damage is so great, some people believe that a majority of parents get divorced after their child’s death. Logic says that losing the child breaks a bond between spouses that can never be repaired. However, researchers have not found statistical evidence of an increased divorce rate among parents whose children have died. Psychologists believe that the way parents grieve can create conflict in a marriage, but it does not necessarily cause divorce.

Expressing Grief

Both parents will experience grief after the death of their child, but each may have a different way of showing it. The types of grief are usually divided by gender:

• Mothers are more likely to outwardly express grief through crying and emotional outbursts; and

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 Posted on June 08, 2017 in Child Custody

June 18 marks the annual celebration of Father’s Day in the U.S. While it is usually a time for fathers and their children to bond, a newly divorced father may experience the holiday differently. Depending on the parenting time arrangement, his children may be unavailable to visit him that day. If he does get to spend the day with them, he may not know how to celebrate. Past Father’s Day traditions may have relied on the mother’s involvement. Divorced fathers need to take an active role in creating a positive Father’s Day experience for them and their children.

Save the Date

You should talk to your former wife about your desire to spend Father’s Day with your children, especially if it would require altering your parenting time schedule. Parenting time agreements are legally binding, but parents can make minor adjustments without needing court approval. Hopefully, your former wife will appreciate the day’s importance to you and your children. However, you can also help with scheduling by being flexible:

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 Posted on June 06, 2017 in Children and Divorce

When women divorce, they often revert to their maiden name if they took their husband’s surname during the marriage. The process in Illinois is relatively straight-forward. A woman can:

• Add a provision in her divorce settlement that allows her to take back her maiden name;
• Use the settlement documents to obtain a new social security card and driver’s license; and
• Present her new identification cards when updating other documents and accounts in her name.

If a woman has primary allocation of parental responsibilities, she may also want to change her children’s last names to her maiden name. However, the mother must receive court approval, and a request to legally change a child’s last name may face heavy scrutiny.

Process

An application to change a child’s name must be filed separately from the divorce negotiations. After the mother has submitted the paperwork, the court will schedule a hearing on the matter. The father must be notified and given a chance to respond. If the father cannot be found, a notice of the hearing must be published for three weeks in a newspaper of record distributed in the area of his last known residence. At the hearing, the mother must present evidence as to why the name change is in the best interest of her child. If the change is granted, the mother must file for a new birth certificate and social security card for the child.

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 Posted on June 01, 2017 in Divorce and Finances

Getting a divorce can lift the emotional burden of being in a stressful marriage. However, single life has its own stresses, not the least of which is the financial adjustment. Your household income may be decreased, or you may be responsible for monthly support payments to your former spouse. Expenses you once shared with your spouse are now your individual responsibility. It can be a harsh adjustment if your former spouse was in charge of keeping track of your finances. You can take steps during and after your divorce to help yourself deal with your new financial independence.

Divorce Settlement

When negotiating the terms of your divorce, support payments and the division of property can give you some financial security. Child and spousal support, in particular, can benefit you for years:

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 Posted on May 25, 2017 in Prenuptial & Postnuptial Agreements

A recent American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers survey claims that a growing number of millennials are creating prenuptial agreements before getting married. According to the survey, 51 percent of attorneys are seeing an increase in premarital agreements by millennials, who are generally defined as people born in the 1980s and 1990s. There are numerous ways that a prenuptial agreement can benefit couples during a potential divorce, including:

• Defining individual and marital property;
• Determining the division of assets;
• Calculating alimony payments; and
• Allocating future benefits, such as retirement plans and life insurance.

Prenuptial agreements have grown more popular for couples of all ages in recent years, but researchers are particularly interested by the increase among younger couples. There are several possible reasons why millennials are embracing prenuptial agreements.

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 Posted on May 23, 2017 in Divorce

Conventional wisdom says that couples divorce because they are unhappy in their marriages. However, many couples will stay married, even though they are obviously miserable together. Parents may consider staying together a selfless action for the benefit of their children, but getting a divorce does not mean the parents are selfish. This reasoning also does not explain why a childless couple would remain in a bad marriage. Psychologists have theories on why unhappy couples stay together that are connected to the expectations of marriage.

Interdependence

Many people get married with hopes of love and emotional fulfillment, but marriage is also an institution of mutual benefit. Psychologists who follow the theory of interdependence believe that:

• Couples view marriage as a cost-benefit relationship;
• Each spouse weighs what the other spouse can provide against negative aspects of the marriage;

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 Posted on May 18, 2017 in Child Custody

When a court rules on parenting time as part of the allocation of parental responsibilities, it is a legally enforceable court order. A parent who violates the agreement may face criminal and civil consequences, including:

• Fines;
• Scheduling make-up parenting time for the other parent;
• Payment of a cash bond to insure against future violations;
• Probation;
• Driver's license suspension; and
• Up to a year in prison after a third offense.

Abuse of parenting time unlawfully reduces the amount of time one parent gets to spend with his or her children. There are multiple methods that parents can use to violate a parenting time agreement.

Withholding Children

The most straightforward way a parent can abuse parenting time is by preventing the other parent from seeing the children. Both parents must consent to any change in the regular parenting time schedule. A parent may have violated the agreement if he or she intentionally made the children unavailable during the other parent’s scheduled parenting time. However, the offending parent may successfully contest the violation if he or she can prove that the other parent is a threat to the children.

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 Posted on May 16, 2017 in Alimony / Maintenance

It is increasingly common for women to be the breadwinner in marriages, while more husbands are choosing to be stay-at-home dads. Societal norms are changing so that marriage roles are more independent from gender. Gender norms have also changed in divorce. Whereas it was once assumed that the husband would pay spousal support to the wife, more courts are awarding spousal support to men. However, statistics suggest that a significant number of men are eligible for spousal support but do not receive it. Because Illinois law does not distinguish between genders in determining spousal support, there should be no legal reason for this. Society’s lingering gender bias is likely the reason more divorced men do not receive spousal support.

Male Pride

Some men believe that receiving spousal support payments from their former wives would emasculate them. Through their experiences witnessing other marriages growing up, they may have learned that:

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 Posted on May 11, 2017 in Divorce

When breaking down the finances of a typical heterosexual marriage, women are more likely to struggle financially following a divorce than men. There have been gains in gender equality as compared to decades ago, but husbands on average still have greater income and resources than their wives. The division of marital property and support payments from their husbands may not be enough to offset their increased financial responsibilities as single home owners or parents.

Despite what they have to lose, studies consistently show that women are more likely to ask for a divorce than men. One common theory is that women are more sensitive to relationship issues than men. However, some research does not support this theory. A recent study found that:

• Women initiate the divorce in 69 percent of case; but
• Men and women are equally likely to break up a relationship that is not a marriage.

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 Posted on May 09, 2017 in Child Custody

The legal definition of domestic abuse is not limited to physical attacks. A spouse or parent can verbally abuse others through harassing and demeaning behavior. Examples of emotional abuse include:

• Insults;
• Foul Language;
• Threats;
• Intimidation; and
• Words meant to humiliate or isolate someone.

During a divorce, one parent may argue that the other parent is abusive and should have limited time with their children. Even without a criminal conviction, the court can consider a parent’s abusive nature in determining the allocation of parental responsibilities. However, emotional abuse is more abstract than physical abuse because there are no visible injuries. You must plan how you will present your evidence in order to prove that your spouse is emotionally abusive.

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