Posted on August 16, 2016 in Divorce

Depending on your cultural background, arranged marriage as a concept might be wildly foreign, an outdated idea that perhaps held some prominence with your parents' or grandparents' generation but is not relevant to you, or a completely normal, even expected, part of life. Globally, 53.25 percent of marriages are arranged, according to a 2016 statistics. In 2012, the global divorce rate for arranged marriages was six percent, a much lower figure than the divorce percentage for couples in non-arranged marriages.

Does this mean your marriage is doomed because it was not arranged or conversely, that it is destined to last because it was arranged? Absolutely not. But what the statistics show is that despite certain stereotypes and assumptions, arranged marriages do exist and flourish throughout the world today.

Factors Present in Modern Arranged Marriages

Generally, parents who arrange marriages for their children do so with their children's best interest in mind. That means choosing partners whose beliefs, social status, and education levels match their own. The most common conflicts in marriages are conflicts borne of incompatibility in these areas, such as conflicts about how to spend money or the religion in which to raise their children. By choosing partners with similar worldviews and backgrounds, parents largely eliminate these conflicts.

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 Posted on August 11, 2016 in Child Custody

When a couple with a child divorces, the court must determine the best possible parenting time arrangement for their child by examining various factors at play in the parents' lives. These factors include each parent's income and asset level, the individuals living in each parent's household, and any issues present that could impact the child's health or safety. Drug or excessive alcohol use by a parent is one of these factors.

In contentious divorces, one parent might accuse the other of struggling with drug or alcohol addiction. The court must address this to determine whether it is true, which usually means that the parent accused of having an addiction must undergo a drug test. It is up to the judge to determine whether a divorcing party must take a drug test. Sometimes, the judge does this following a request by one spouse and in other cases, the judge decides this without input from either divorcing party.

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 Posted on August 09, 2016 in Child Custody

If you are a father facing divorce, you might find yourself stressing about what will happen to your relationship with your children. Although you have a full, equal role in your child's life, many individuals throughout the United States hold outdated notions about a mother's role in her child's life versus a father's role. You might also have heard that courts tend to favor mothers when determining custody arrangements and that after a divorce, a father simply becomes an ATM for child and spousal support.

Do not let these ideas trap you into thinking you have no power or rights in your divorce. The concept of child custody has been dramatically altered in recent years and now, it is known as parenting time and parental responsibilities. These refer to the roles that each parent fills in his or her child's life and the specified blocks of time they spend with the child in the years after their divorce. Under Illinois law, a parent's gender has no bearing on these determinations and when child support is deemed to be necessary, it is ordered based on the parenting time arrangement determined by the court. Your attorney will fight for your right to be treated fairly during these determinations and if you feel your gender is being used in any way to justify less parenting time or a larger financial obligation than you deserve, voice your concerns to your lawyer.

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 Posted on August 04, 2016 in Child Custody

In most instances, not much. Your former partner has as much of a right to build and maintain a meaningful relationship with your child as you have. During their time together, your child and your former partner might spend time with extended family or friends and do activities together. Unless your former partner is actively putting your child in a position where he or she can be harmed, such as spending time with individuals who use illegal drugs or engage in criminal activities or doing dangerous activities without taking the proper precautions, such as snowmobiling without wearing helmets or shooting guns without observing proper gun safety precautions, you cannot tell your former partner how to spend his or her time with your child. One of the reasons why the concept of child custody was replaced with parenting time was to eliminate the sense that one parent has a greater level of control over a child's life than the other. Co-parenting can be difficult. To make it easier, always be aware of the limits of your parenting time and parenting responsibility arrangements. In other words, pick your battles.

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 Posted on August 02, 2016 in Divorce

In Illinois, an individual who wants to file for divorce must file the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage and summons to serve his or her spouse with the circuit court of the county in which he or she resides. Further, in order to file for divorce in Illinois at all, the individual must have resided in the state for at least 90 days. The filer's residency is what determines where the county in which the divorce proceedings are held and if the couple resides in different counties, a dispute can arise regarding where the proceedings can be held. If you are served with divorce papers and you would prefer to have your case handled in your home county, rather than your partner's home county, you may state this desire in your response to the divorce petition. Although you can request a change in venue, you are not guaranteed to have your request fulfilled. Talk to your lawyer about the possibility of changing your divorce's venue and its effect on your divorce.

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 Posted on July 28, 2016 in Child Custody

Traditionally, the court determines a parenting time agreement for a divorcing couple and as this agreement states, the child spends a specific amount of time in each parent's household each week. This requires travel between two houses, which can cut into each parent's time with the child and cause the child to feel like he or she has two homes. This setup is not a problem for some families, but for others, a lot of value is placed on the child having only one home. For these families, birdnesting can be an ideal solution.

Birdnesting is an arrangement where a divorced couple's child remains in one home at all times and the parents rotate in and out of it for their respective parenting time blocks. When it is not a parent's time to be in the house with his or her child, he or she resides in a separate residence. This child-centered form of co-parenting has its benefits, but also comes with drawbacks.

Benefits of Birdnesting

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 Posted on July 26, 2016 in Children and Divorce

A parent's divorce can take a toll on any child. How a parent's divorce affects a child depends on numerous factors, such as the level of conflict in the marriage before the divorce, the child's relationship with each parent, how drastically the child's lifestyle changes following the divorce, and the child's personality. Some children are more easily upset by conflict in their homes than others. One factor that can play into how a child is affected by his or her parents' divorce is the child's age. At different developmental stages, a child can understand and process the effects of a divorce in different ways.

It is a myth that divorce affects one age group more profoundly than others. The truth is, divorce affects all members of a family, but it can affect children and adolescents in specific ways based on their ages.

Infants and Toddlers

Babies can pick up on the tension between their parents, even if they cannot understand the reason for the tension. Infants who live in high-tension environments can exhibit signs of emotional instability and experience delayed development.

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 Posted on July 21, 2016 in Child Custody

When the court determines appropriate parenting time and parenting responsibility arrangements for divorcing couples, it considers multiple factors. These factors are outlined in the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act. Examples of these factors include the child's personal needs, each parent's income and assets, the other individuals present in each parent's household, and the quality of the child's relationship with each parent.

As you can see, one of these factors is not like the others. The court can quantify each parent's annual income and expenses and determine the child's personal needs in concrete terms, but qualifying the child's relationship with each of his or her parents is much more difficult. What makes a quality relationship? How can the court find one relationship to be stronger than another, when every relationship that exists is unique?

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 Posted on July 19, 2016 in Divorce

A few of the most common reasons why couples divorce are conflicts about money, infidelity, and conflicting views about how to raise their children. These kinds of issues generally arise within the first decade or so of a marriage. But when a marriage can weather these difficulties and last 20, 30, or even more years, it can be difficult to imagine it ending in divorce. But statistics show that is is becoming increasingly common for older couples, those who have been married for short periods of time as well as those who have been married for decades, to seek divorces. This trend is known as “gray divorce.”

Since 1990, the divorce rate for individuals over 50 has doubled. Certain issues are unique to older couples that drive them toward divorce. These, coupled with the social attitudes and expectations of individuals in their 50s and 60s today versus the attitudes and expectations held by previous generations, are driving the trend of gray divorce in the United States.

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 Posted on July 14, 2016 in Child Custody

For many Illinois children and teens, summer is a season of outdoor adventure. Swimming, biking, hiking, and nights spent around the campfire become cherished memories and when summer is over, children often spend the colder months reminiscing and looking forward to their next summer vacation. For some families, summer also means family vacations and extended stays at summer camp. These, as well as everyday activities back home, are not without their risk of injury. Children can suffer life-changing injuries in accidents and all sorts of summertime scenarios, especially when they are not adequately supervised. To prevent an injury this summer, speak with your former spouse about safety rules for outdoor activities, vacations, and summer camp. Working together is part of your parenting agreement and as parents, it is your job to keep your child safe.

Summer Safety Topics to Discuss with Your Former Spouse and Your Child

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