Women Tend To Stay in Bad Marriages

 Posted on October 15, 2013 in Divorce

We all know someone who’s stayed in a relationship far past the point when the relationship stopped being healthy. Why people choose to do this is varied, but it seems that women are more likely to stay in unhappy marriages than men, at least according to Allison Pescosolido, co-founder of “Divorce Detox,” writing for the Huffington Post. “It may sound obvious to jump ship when a marriage goes south,” she says, “but there are a multitude of reasons why women who are perfectly capable of making sound decisions stay.” The least of these, of course, is that they don’t want to hurt their family. Women, according to Pescosolido, are more conditioned than men to put others first.

Another reason that women tend to stay in bad marriages is that their biological clock is ticking, writes Pescosolido. “Whether a woman wants to have a child or wants more children, the idea of starting over close to child-bearing age invokes feelings of desperation.” There’s also the issue of a lack of self-esteem, which, of course, is only further eroded by a bad relationship—which becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. Some women lack the financial independence to leave a bad marriage if she has not been the primary breadwinner in the relationship. This can be an especially significant factor if the divorcing couple is older. According to Forbes, “older women who have been in long-term marriages must confront unique financial issues when they’re facing divorce.” These include protecting their business, their retirement funds, their insurance, and their retirement account beneficiaries, according to Forbes.

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Obamacare Could Drive Up Divorce Rates

 Posted on October 12, 2013 in Divorce

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Is Legal Separation a Good Option for You?

 Posted on October 09, 2013 in Divorce

While a divorce in Illinois is the official legal recognition that a marriage is over, some couples might feel more comfortable with the concept of a legal separation. In a separation, the marriage is not officially terminated in a legal sense. Spouses are prohibited from marrying anyone else during a legal separation, and the court can make decisions regarding child custody, spousal maintenance, and child support. If you’re not ready to legally end your marriage, hiring an attorney to help you with a legal separation may be a better choice for you. A legal separation can be appropriate for those couples who don’t think they can live with their spouse anymore. This can allow some breathing room and an opportunity for both individuals to think about and work through issues. Legal separation can be less financially damaging than divorce, especially if you decide to permanently stay separated without going through the legal actions of divorce. Some couples may eventually decide to come back together with a better understanding of one another’s needs, too. There are downsides to legal separation, however. Parents living apart can present sudden emotional challenges for your children, so should spend time preparing them for what will be different and ensure that they get some extra attention and love during this period. It’s important to note that unless you ask the court to divide property during a legal separation, it will not happen. While property division is typically part of the divorce process, you shouldn’t automatically expect it with a legal separation. Finally, research points out that 79% of couples who separate end up getting divorced, so simply getting some time apart might not fix your marriage. Legal separation may only serve to delay the inevitable. If you’re thinking about a legal separation, you need the guidance of an experienced Illinois family lawyer to help with your documents to begin.

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What is an Annulment?

 Posted on September 26, 2013 in Divorce

When talking about divorce, it is not uncommon for the term “annulment” to pop up in conversation. Because it is not as popular as divorce, many people are unclear as to what exactly an annulment is and what it entails. According to divorcenet.com, annulment is defined as “a legal proceeding to declare a purported marriage invalid. When a marriage is annulled, it is as if it had never happened. Usually, the court makes a declaration on invalidity retroactive, declaring the marriage invalid as of the date the ceremony occurred.” As enticing as an annulment may seem, not all couples can qualify for it. In Illinois, there are four major grounds for annulment of a marriage. They are as follows:

• One party lacked the ability to consent to the marriage at the time of the ceremony, due to mental incapacity or infirmity or the influence of drugs or alcohol. These ailments can include mental retardation, psychosis, or dementia.

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Paternity Testing

 Posted on September 21, 2013 in Family Law

As time progresses on, society continues to change, and today, it is more likely than ever that people will have more than one sexual partner in their lifetime. This is also becoming more socially acceptable, although some people do still frown upon physical intimacy before marriage. For those people that do participate in the act, however, legal issues can arise and become exceedingly more complicated. If a child is conceived out of wedlock, there is a chance that the mother will not know who the real father is. Even if the mother thinks that she knows, she cannot be certain unless she only had one partner around the time of conception. Some men are thrilled to assume that the child is theirs and take on fatherhood responsibilities, but others do not want to be tricked into fatherhood of a child that is not theirs. To know for certain, a paternity test can determine the child’s biological father. Testing to determine a child’s biological father is important, not only for the parents, but also for the child for many reasons such as:

• Having accurate family medical history available for the child, which is especially helpful in the event of a genetic disease or disorder that may arise as the child grows

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Recovering your Life after a Divorce

 Posted on September 18, 2013 in Divorce

Divorce is a major change in anyone’s life. It is challenging in many ways. A divorce may even cause an identity crisis that could take years to recover from and regain your life. But it is helpful to know that you are not OK, it makes it easier to get on the right track. Why the process to recovery takes so long is because there are two things happening at the same time. The first objective is to recover from your loss. The second objective is to rebuild your life again without your partner. In regards to the first goal, it is hard to expect a timeline of events for the grieving process. No one mourns in the same way as someone else. While the stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, it is hard to feel just one at a time. Grief tends to be more chaotic than a series of steps. For the second part of recovery, there is no blueprint to use. Occasionally small things will trip you up. The decision to sleep on the other side of the bed will seem strange. Embrace the newness of your situation and make it your own. Whether that means buying some new sheets for your bed or painting your kitchen the color you have always wanted. This is a new stage in your life. While you make changes to make it your own, lean on the support of your family and friends. They will be invaluable during your transition. It might be the case that you will need to branch out and make new friends. Going through a divorce is about finding a new perspective and forging a new future without your spouse. The realization that divorce is necessary will come from within. If you have come to that decision that it is time, then it is necessary to receive legal guidance. Contact an experienced family law attorney in Kane County today.

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Reasons to Seek an Amicable Divorce

 Posted on September 14, 2013 in Divorce

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Rapist Sued for Seeking Visitation Rights

 Posted on September 11, 2013 in Child Custody

All too often, there are stories on the news and even more frequently, it seems, on prime-time crime shows, of women being raped and children getting sexually abused. The crime show stars, however, always find the rapist and put him behind bars, and the victims move on and push past the horrid events. As for the real cases on the news, most often news channels will briefly discuss the victim and the event, but there will be no follow up. Unfortunately for a Massachusetts teen, the news coverage has not yet stopped from a rape that happened in 2008, when she was only 14 years old. The New York Daily News recently reported on a man in Massachusetts who raped a woman, impregnated her, and now wants visitation rights to see his child. The father is being sued by the rape victim for attempting to see the child. The girl was 14 years old when she was impregnated by Jaime Melendez, who was 20 at the time, and who plead guilty to four counts of statutory rape. The NY Daily News referred to the now 19 year old woman only as “H.T.,” just as she was in the court documents. H.T. “sued the commonwealth of Massachusetts,” claiming that “she has been forced into a 16-year legal relationship with” her rapist, according to documents from the case. In 2011, Melendez was sentenced to 16 years of probation, including being required to pay $110 a week to family court for child support payments after pleading guilty. His argument in the child support case was that he should have visitation rights if he has to financially support the child. The 19 year old mother wants no contact between her and Melendez or the child and father, but Melendez only offered to drop the visitation request if he is able to discontinue the child support payments. If you are in a situation dealing with rape, domestic violence, child custody, or child support, contact a family law attorney who will keep your best interests in mind throughout the legal process. Goostree Law Group is located in Kane County and is available to help you with any legal family issues that you have today.

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Supporting a Friend through a Divorce

 Posted on September 09, 2013 in Divorce

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Think Twice Before Going for the DIY Divorce

 Posted on September 06, 2013 in Divorce

In a world where everyone is looking for a way to save some money, many people are turning to do it yourself legal channels. While some matters can be done this way, experts advise against DIY divorces. A report by the Huffington Post talks about the pros and cons. The Pros

• The forms may seem easy to understand and the language straightforward.
• It can be cost effective for a couple that has a "simple" case.
• The forms are relatively easy to obtain and there is no additional waiting period.
• The divorce can be finalized with one court appearance.
• Consulting an attorney is cheaper than paying for full representation.

The Cons

• You are more like to make unsound financial decisions.
• Your rights will not be properly attended.

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