Posted on March 21, 2018 in Child Custody

Children of divorce can have difficulty adjusting to living at a parent’s new home during scheduled parenting time. An unfamiliar house or apartment is a physical manifestation of the changes happening in a child’s life after divorce. The parent in the new home must create a familiar and comforting environment for the children. The other parent should try to put the children at ease about the new living environment. Both parents should cooperate to make a smoother transition, for the betterment of their children if not for each others’ sakes.

Preparations

Helping children adjust to a new parental home starts with the other parent at the primary home. Having two homes is an unfamiliar concept that likely makes the children nervous. It is also unavoidable as long as both sides have parenting time. Children can grow more comfortable with the concept and gain a sense of control by helping:

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 Posted on March 19, 2018 in Divorce

Part of the social aspect of getting a divorce is telling other people about the news. For family and close friends, you will have a personalized conversation that considers their emotions and gives them chances to ask questions. For casual acquaintances, a standard speech is appropriate and often easier for you than having an open-ended conversation. To borrow a business networking term, you should develop a divorce elevator speech as an automatic reply to anyone who asks about your divorce.

Purpose of an Elevator Speech

You do not have the time or emotional energy to get into a long conversation about your divorce with everyone you know. Some casual acquaintances will ask you questions about your divorce because they are curious and inquisitive by nature. An elevator speech gets its name because it is short and succinct enough that you can say it to someone while riding in an elevator, which usually takes one-to-two minutes. With an elevator speech, you want to:

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 Posted on March 15, 2018 in Divorce

Divorcing before the age of 30 is uncommon today, partially because people are waiting longer to get married. People who do divorce at a young age face some social stigma. Their friends and family may question whether the couple:

• Rushed into the marriage;
• Quit on the marriage too soon;
• Were too immature to be married;
• Do not take relationships and marriage seriously; or
• Could not sustain the marriage because of personality flaws.

It is unfair to judge people’s marriages and divorces based on their age. Younger couples can enter marriage for mature reasons, and older couples can make mistakes in getting married. Unfortunately, young divorcees may be the ones doubting themselves the most. They should remember the positive aspects of divorcing while they are still young:

1. Chance for Reset: People who wait until they are older to divorce have less time to start over with a new relationship. Young divorcees are at an age when many people have not yet married. There is ample time for them to start a new relationship, get married and have a family.

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 Posted on March 11, 2018 in Child Custody

A parenting plan sets the schedule for when children stay with parents who live apart, but Illinois courts generally presume that separated parents should be able to expand their parenting time when circumstances allow it. That is why some parenting plans include a right of first refusal for each parent. Special circumstances sometimes prevent a parent from being able to watch the children during his or her scheduled parenting time. The right of first refusal requires the unavailable parent to offer the other parent a chance to watch the children before asking a third party. Separating parents may agree to this provision because they know that the children are best off being with one of them. However, there are several variables to a right of first refusal provision that can cause disagreements.

Conditions

It may be impractical for a parent to be required to contact his or her co-parent every time he or she needs childcare. The co-parents must also decide how the transfer of the children would work. A right of first refusal provision includes conditions that clarify when and how the provision is used. This may include:

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 Posted on March 07, 2018 in Children and Divorce

Figuring out child-related issues during a divorce often requires crunching the numbers. Parents must determine:

• How many hours the children will spend with each parent during the week;
• How to divide holidays and special occasions with the children;
• What their total child-related expenses are; and
• What percentage of child support each parent is responsible for.

Divorcing parents often come up with the best solutions to these issues by considering the emotional aspects of parenting. Being a good parent takes more than spending time and money. The quality of the parental relationship is just as important towards a child’s emotional development.

Parenting Time

A parenting agreement is quantitative in that it sets a schedule that divides parenting time. However, there is no formula to determine which parenting time ratio works best or which days each parent should have the children. When proposing a parenting schedule, each parent must consider:

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 Posted on March 02, 2018 in High Asset Divorce

Determining the value of antiques and collectibles during a divorce can be trickier than with other marital properties. You cannot afford to overlook them as they may be some of the most valuable properties of your marriage. It will be too late to receive compensation if you learn that a marital property you gave away with little consideration is worth thousands of dollars. Your former spouse may have known of the item’s true value, taking advantage of your ignorance to receive an unequal share of your marital properties. That is why it is important to use a professional appraiser to give you an accurate value of your marital properties.

Identifying Properties

Marital property in a divorce includes any items that were purchased during your marriage or were maintained with marital money. Your spouse may have been the one to purchase and use the items, but your shared financial resources give you a right to ownership or equal compensation. There are a variety of antiques and collectibles you may possess, including:

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 Posted on February 27, 2018 in Divorce

Of all the costs associated with getting a divorce, a loss of identity may be one of the toughest. There was some comfort in knowing your role in your home, despite the misery your marriage caused you. Without your identity as a spouse, you may be uncertain as to how you define yourself. If you have children, the obvious answer is that you are a parent. However, that identity will lessen over time when your children become more independent. It is healthier when you have a part of your identity that does not depend on others. Being newly single gives you a chance to better define yourself. Here are four types of identities you may discover:

1. Professional: Whatever skills and experience you have in order to do your work is part of who you are. You should tie this identity to yourself more than a specific job. Employment can vary, but your work skills stay with you.
2. Hobbyist: The activities that you enjoy in your free time are also part of your identity. Your passions can dictate your personality and the type of people you like being around. Finding a group that shares your hobby will help further cement your identity.

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 Posted on February 23, 2018 in Divorce

If you are asking yourself whether you need an attorney for your divorce, the answer is “absolutely yes.” Representing yourself in a divorce would require learning complex divorce laws and applying them to your marriage. Divorcees may choose pro se representation in their divorce because:

• They want to avoid the cost of hiring a divorce attorney; and
• They believe the abundance of internet resources can teach them what they need to know.

Having a lawyer when your spouse does not will give you an advantage during your divorce. However, divorcing someone who is representing him or herself can make the process longer and more frustrating:

1. Playing Catch Up: People representing themselves in divorces are on their own to learn how the legal process works. Though they may try, they cannot ask judges or their spouses' attorneys for help. The filing of basic forms may be a struggle that takes longer than it would have with an attorney doing the work.

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 Posted on February 20, 2018 in Child Custody

Families across the country have begun observing Lent, which may include periods of fasting and abstaining from vices. Parents who are serious about their faith choose to observe the Lenten traditions, while younger children are likely following the example of their parents. What if the children's parents are divorced and one chooses to not observe Lent? The parent who does observe Lent may be upset with the other parent for allowing their children to lapse in their Lenten commitments. This is just one example of how different religious beliefs can cause conflict between divorced parents. They may be less willing to tolerate each others’ differing beliefs than when they were married. Divorced parents should try to respect their religious differences for the sake of their children.

Legal Rights

In Illinois, the parent who receives a majority of the decision-making responsibilities is likely to be the one who chooses which religion the children will primarily follow. However, the other parent may still have the right to include the children in his or her own religious activities. A divorce court will not favor one parent’s religion unless it believes the religious practices are harming the children. Examples include:

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 Posted on February 16, 2018 in Divorce

A person’s job may or may not cause a divorce, but research suggests that there is a correlation. Using data from a 2015 survey, an analyst calculated the occupations that had the highest divorce rates. The leading job was casino gaming managers at 52.9 percent, closely followed by bartenders at 52.7 percent. To put the numbers in perspective, the median divorce rate was about 36 percent. Other occupations near the top of the list included flight attendants, switchboard operators, telemarketers, entertainers, nurses, and various heavy machinery workers. Actuaries had the lowest divorce rate at 17 percent, with scientific and religious occupations also having lower rates. When examining the occupations with the highest divorce rates, there are shared factors that may contribute to divorce:

1. Low Income: Money trouble is one of the most common conflicts that may lead to divorce. Couples who have low or unstable incomes are more likely to be stressed and question each others’ spending habits. There is less margin for error when someone uses money wastefully or an emergency creates an unanticipated expense.

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